She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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