we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
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He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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