yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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