All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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