I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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