I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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