Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize