OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
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I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
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The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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