nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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