well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
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i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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