I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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