So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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