I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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