It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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