remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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