i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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