Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize