New invention idea: vibrating tampons
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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