I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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