k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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