You're so nebulous sometimes
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize