Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she peed on how many people?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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