Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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