I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Everclear isn't food dammit
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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