Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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