see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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