At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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