just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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