You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
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As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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