Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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