Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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