pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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