im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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