ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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