Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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