I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
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I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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