allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just want nice things and good sex
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize