maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just want to make out with him forever
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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