do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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