i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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