I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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