Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize