So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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