So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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