South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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