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Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
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