What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
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Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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