Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize