So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
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you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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