Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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